Movie Review: The Super Parental Guardians Makes Light of Duterte’s Drug War But Fails Miserably

In the movie’s final moments, Arci (Vice Ganda) grabs Paco (Coco Martin), lifts him up, spins him around, & asks out loud why they weren’t included in this year’s Metro Manila Film Festival. The movie was infamously shut out of the festival this year, along with other MMFF mainstays like Enteng Kabisote & Mano Po, due to an overhaul that valued artistic excellence over commercial viability.

After watching the movie, the answer becomes clear: it was shut out because it was terrible. It’s a shocking drop of quality after Beauty & the Bestie, the action-comedy that first teamed up Vice Ganda & Coco Martin with enjoyable results.

The problems start with the complicated, poorly structured plot. Arci is an assistant of a famous fashion designer Marife dela Cruz (Assunta de Rossi) who dreams of becoming a fashion designer himself & living in South Korea. Paco works as a stuntman who’s a magnet for trouble thanks in part to his street gang. When his sister Sarah, Arci’s best friend, is killed after witnessing an extra-judicial killing late at night, Arci is entrusted to take custody of her two children Megan (Awra Briguela) & Ernie (Onyok Pineda) to grant Sarah’s dying wish. Neil is reluctant at first, but because of his concerns with his nephews, he eventually agrees. He moves in along with his nephews in Arci’s “mansion,” which is really Marife’s house & Arci is just the caretaker. With Arci & Neil living in the same house, they try their best to raise the two kids & find out who murdered Sarah.

It’s a politically charged conceit loaded with a bunch of promising storylines, but the movie couldn’t service all of them in an orderly fashion. The complex plot moves in zigs & zags, advancing whenever the script demands it, instead of allowing it to come out organically. Vice Ganda’s movies are just better when the plot is simple, making it easier to add a ton of jokes & references.

It doesn’t help that it splits its characters into different groups for most of the running time, cutting down the opportunity for Vice Ganda’s signature barbed lines. When they do get a chance, it’s wasted on badly written references to Pokemon Go, Train to Busan, & Ang Probinsyano, & second-rate one-liners. Of course, there are a few funny jokes, but all of them were shown in the trailer.

The movie tackling Duterte’s drug war & extra-judicial killings might have made it more interesting, but it wastes its opportunity to comment on it.If you’re expecting either a scathing indictment or unwavering support for the drug war, you’re going to be very disappointed. By the movie’s end, it all fizzles out to deliver a happy ending by dropping certain storylines. It only uses the drug war as a backdrop & nothing more, trying its best to be apolitical about it. It’s a decision oozing with either sheer laziness or inability to say something so they couldn’t offend its audience.

Even if the jokes & story fall flat, at least it is shot well. The production values for Vice Ganda’s movies are certainly getting better. Bb. Joyce Bernal handles the action scenes with a style ripped straight from Ang Probinsyano – shaky cams, zoom-ins, & jump cuts – but it is more comprehensible & less prone to dramatic stings compared to its inspiration. The use of drone shots rise slightly above “gimmicky” too.

However, the mix of comedy & action is another reminder of how bad it is. The jokes in the action scenes just aren’t funny & the pacing is off, since the way Bb. Joyce Bernal uses Ang Probinsyano’s aesthetic isn’t conducive for comedy. It sucks the air out of already terrible jokes & doesn’t allow the comedians to have room for their performances.

At least, everyone in the cast is great. It is already well established that Vice Ganda has a sharp comedic timing & Coco Martin can go toe-to-toe with him, especially if you’ve seen the much better Beauty & the Bestie. Awra Briguela is given a bigger spotlight here & he takes full advantage of it. Yes, he’s another stereotypical gay kid, but he can spout his snarky lines with the ferocity of a cynical adult. Onyok Pineda is very young & it shows in his performance. It’s understandable. He delivers his lines like he’s reading out of a children’s book. Even the movie is aware of this, giving him fewer stuff to do compared to the rest of the cast, but making sure that he makes an impact. I hope he gets better with age.

Unfortunately, this movie will never be good. It’s a movie built on a premise with the potential to speak out on our current political climate, but only uses it to deliver a sloppy story filled with unfunny jokes. It’s the worst kind of entertainment: incompetent & inoffensive to the point it becomes offensive.